The art of valuing yourself for who you are is like a muscle. The more you exercise it, the stronger you get. While some people naturally give themselves a million-dollar “price tag,” the truth is that they are a minority of the population. Placing value on yourself, warts and all, is a task with which even the most confident can struggle. Self-acceptance takes work. And what better time to start than Pride Month? Through proven steps meant to increase your total self-acceptance, you can accept the person in the mirror … and even fall in love with them! Greater self-acceptance improves emotional well-being, according to Harvard Health, and that’s a goal we should all strive toward every day. The following tips will help you bulk up your self-acceptance by looking for the good in both yourself and others.
Self-Acceptance Boot Camp
- Stop questioning where you are in life. You are here—like on a map—and self-acceptance starts by working with your truth, not against it.
- Don’t blame yourself for your current situation. Blame has never helped anyone feel good or even better.
- Don’t judge others. When we accept others, we are going through the actions of accepting ourselves.
- Know that pain doesn’t automatically equal suffering. It is okay to hurt, but you control how you handle it.
- Be aware, but don’t judge. You have qualities you like and qualities you want to change. Don’t assign values like “good” or “bad” to them.
- Learn to be honest with yourself. Some negative feelings present as something else entirely. Only by getting to the root can you let go of ugliness in your life.
- Talk kindly to yourself. Would you say that to a friend? Don’t let your inner voice say it to you.
- Read books that promote self-care. Take in those ideas that spark something in you, and don’t be afraid to discard the rest.
- Tell yourself that you are worth it. Daily. And mean it. Research shows that even though self-acceptance could be one key to a happier life, many people overlook it.
- Exercise just to make yourself feel good. Don’t focus on slimming, firming or toning—consider disciplines like Tai Chi, which offer mental health benefits as strong as the physical. Framing exercise as a type of self-pampering may stimulate some motivation.
- Fall for your faith. It doesn’t matter how “woo” your beliefs may seem to others. If your version of a creator loves you, you’re doing well.
- Embrace your body. Your height, your bone structure and your weight all belong to you. Some of them you can change, but not easily. At this moment, you are who you are, so you may as well love this version of yourself.
- Takes steps towards living fearlessly. Write down what scares you on a piece of paper, and set it on fire… literally. Let the flame symbolize your renewal as a fierce, brave creature.
- Commit to trying something new. Once a week, or once a month to get yourself used to the idea, try a few food, TV show or shower gel. Shake up your life a little. Move on to bigger experiences over time.
- Try a session of relaxed awareness. Set a timer for five minutes, and just be. Observe what you are taking in through your senses. You may have thoughts, but let them drift in and out. This is a small way to practice mindfulness in your life on your quest toward self-acceptance.
- Identify five things that you love about your appearance. Write them down, and tape the list to your mirror.
- Fly your “freak flag.” Love that which makes you unique because it also makes you stand out.
- Turn small things into accomplishments. Got a promotion? Celebrate! Managed to get through the week without crying? Live it up, baby.
- Ditch emotional vampires. Eliminate from your life those who do anything but support (but NOT enable) you unconditionally.
- Get off social media. Comparison is, after all, the thief of joy. Who cares how Jennifer from high school is living her life? Focus on your own, wonderful existence and you’ll be one step closer to self-acceptance.
- Journal daily. Even if you only write a single positive thing that happened every day, you can train yourself to dwell on positivity.
- Consider not actively seeking Mr/s/x Right for a while. Embracing singlehood can be, for some people, an intensely liberating way to practice self-acceptance.
- Try out “gratitude training.” Every time you get in or out of bed, think of one thing for which you are grateful.
- Don’t let fleeting emotions control you. Try to observe your feelings from a distance, and assess them. By doing this, it’s easier to dismiss non-constructive anger, sadness or frustration.
- Find your people. Let your identity guide you to an accepting community. LGBTQ+? Find that little coffee shop with a rainbow flag flying. Female-identifying? Check out a women’s gym. New parent? Don’t settle for just any playgroup; search for the one that clicks.
- Learn to take action intentionally. This is another part of mindfulness. When we are intent in our actions, we choose the paths that are most beneficial to ourselves.
- Understand that acceptance ≠ resignation. You can make peace with your situation in life without settling for stasis. Self-acceptance doesn’t hinder self-improvement; it aids growth.
- Perform acts of kindness. Doing charitable acts or even encouraging a friend in distress not only help others, but they boost your own feeling of worth.
- Allow yourself to grieve lost dreams. Youth is full of idealized notions. When we mature, reality sets in, and we seldom hold space for our unrealized plans. This process can help you let go and realize your actual best life.
- Honor your weaknesses. Acknowledge your strengths, and don’t beat yourself up over things at which you simply don’t excel. Don’t lower your standards, but know that unrealistic expectations are toxic.
- Forgive others, but mostly yourself. Holding onto grudges, especially self-facing ones, will hinder your journey.
- Feed yourself healthy food. Again, this is not for intentional weight-loss, but as an expression of love towards yourself.
- Tidy your space. No need to go full Marie Kondo, but decluttering can be a physical manifestation of letting go of stale energy. While Pride Month is a serendipitous time to actualize self-acceptance in your life, being good to yourself never goes out of style. Next up, What Is Self-Care? And the Most Practical, Enjoyable Ideas for Weaving It Into Your Life
Sources:
Harvard Health: “Greater self-acceptance improves emotional well-being"Science Daily: “Self-acceptance could be the key to a happier life, yet it’s the happy habit many people practice the least”
